holiday.

Well. i'm leaving for my overseas family holiday tomorrow. Has been a while since we've done anything like this! so i'm looking forward to getting to know them again, and just simply being a family - no distractions (except for the "sight-seeing" obvious)... no other people or meetings to draw us away from spending quality time with each other. I'm really feeling the butterflies now!!! because it's more than just any ol' holiday to me. i really feel like there will be some significant spiritual changes in all of us whilst we're away. I'm not sure how that looks yet... but just a strong calling to keep an ear out for God's speaking into my life. Today is a combination of so many emotions for me. Sadness (leaving friends behind), Excitement, nervousness, etc. A potpurri if you like. I'm sure this will ease by the time i'm in singapore and easing into holiday mode. i really want to share this with you. A lady friend shared this with me, i bumped into her at a bridal expo on the weekend. no, i am no preparing to get married, i'm going to be a bridesmaid for one of my best friend's wedding - and so we went along to the expo for her sake (ya know, get new ideas and good deals, etc). Unfortunately for me, I didnt really quite know that being the expo would make me feel so anxious and spiritually uneasy. I've been married before, and it did fall apart. But since then, i've looked at wedding stuff and not felt this way at all!! My friend came up to me just at the right time on Sunday (at the expo) and told me about this vision she'd had a number of years before. And i'm sharing it with you today because of what it means to me personally. Vision: Doll. 24/08/02 I was thinking about the whys of my feelings – hurt and anger, and I realised that I feel like I’m ‘damaged goods’ – and it does hurt! It’s like you save yourself for the one person God chose for you, expecting everything to work together, and not having to deal with issues like this- here I am, with high hopes and dreams…feeling like somebody has ruined that – I’m always talking about not wanting ‘damaged goods’, and never realising that deep down, that’s how I felt I was. Damaged and Imperfect. Tonight God encouraged me. He showed me as a doll sitting on a shelf at the back of a toy shop – but I had been dropped or mistreated and should have been thrown in the ‘damaged’ bin, but I wasn’t. The shop owner saw my potential and lovingly worked on me – restoring me so I looked brand new again. People would not even know I’d been damaged (like the character Woody in the movie Toy Story 2) He said he’ll restore me – he can make me ‘new’ again and my future partner won’t be turned off – because he’ll see me the way God wants him to see me! J